Dear Journal,
Christmas time has rolled its ugly head in again for another year and its already miserable for me. I just want Christmas to go away and leave me alone. Everyone's in the Holiday spirit. I just want to be in the same spirit I'm in the rest of the year. NONE AT ALL!.

I have had Bea pushing me to go to her Aunt's dinner. I mean fuck I feel bad enough already for really not wanting to go to it but she keeps bugging me and bugging me to go to it. I'm not doing it. I don't want anything to do with Christmas. Most of Bea's family has been trying to get me in the Christmas spirit. I know Jenny tried last year but it didn't work so she's not really trying to hard this year thankfully.

Why can't you people understand that I want nothing to do with this holiday. Not matter how much you all try to get me in the Christmas spirit. It's going to be same fucking bullshit I go through year after year after year at home. It's already been constant fighting with my parents over Christmas. Always more battles this time of the year. More than what goes on for the rest of the year? Isn't this suppose to be a holiday of happyness and family rejoicing? Not in this family.

Yes it will be my 1 year anniversary with Bea on Christmas. Amazingly enough we've lasted this long. But I'm not going to get to see her at all, probably not even going to get the chance to talk to her either. She's got her family, I've got mine. As much as I hate this way it's how it is and the 2 families aren't going to be crossing paths in the near future.

Don't get me wrong. I'd love to spend Christmas with her because I know how much this holiday means to her. But thats it. I don't need to be dragged into all the other family events that are around Christmas or near Christmas. I'm not part of any other family than my onw. I hate that too but facts are facts.

So the bottom line here is that if I don't want to do Christmas, leave me alone and let me not do it in my own happy little ways. Unfortanetly I am part of this family and this family alone and no one else's so please leave me alone with Christmas dinners, the walks, the gatherings and all that other bullshit. It's just something I'm not doing.

Anyway now that I have all that let out I guess it's time I can do a little blurb about whats been going on lately. I haven't really written in here in awhile but nothing really significant has happened or else I would of wrote it by now.

The most recent thing I guess would be me taking Erik's work shifts at the Far East Restaurant he works in. By the sounds of it I might be there for longer than just covering Erik's ass while goes and works at his other restaurant. Seems like they need someone tall to reach all the top shelves. Oh well it's easy work and I could always use the money. I started at 6pm this Thursday. Dishes and mopping andthat was pretty my night. I was going to go to Bea's house for dinner but since it was Parent / Teacher Interview's they didn't really have supper ready at a decent time so I went to Burger King for dinner. And of course the only person on front cash is the dumb broad in training so I was a few minutes late for work. Don't think Leannor minded though. At least she never said anything about it. I go back at Sunday at 6pm again.

Well I was playing for a Jupitor's in the Pool League I am in and me and my friends got kicked off that team because the owner of the bar is complete moron. Oh well. No big loss really because now we're playing for Color Of Money again where we actually stand a chance in a few games. I went to a practice session this past Sunday. Nello spent most of is afternoon with Mike and I. Erik and Jason couldn't of been there. Erik had to work and Jason was with his mom for a surgery. Jason will be there this Sunday so hopefully he can get a good practice in.

Well I was going to go play Counter Strike for a bit but than a few people started to talk to me when I came on MSN when I got home about an hour ago. so I decided to stay on and chat for a bit. But than no longer did I decide that is when everyone decided to leave. So I thought it was high time to write another entry. but I am done this entry nof now. Bye.