Entry:

Confused

 Monday, October 18, 2004



Dear Journal,
Yes I am confused again. Surprise surprise. But this is something that is really important this time. I really just don't know what to do. If I stay with Bea how can I trust her? How can I look her in the eye, say that I love her and mean it anymore when she's lost my trust.

But I love her so much. All the good times that we've had together will just be forgotten memories if we do break up. I've always loved ever minute I've ever spent with her. She's always put a smile on my face and sometimes tears to my eyes when I've had to leave her.

It's like I can't live with her because I can't trust her anymore and I can't live without her because I love her so much.

We've been through so much together. It will be our 10 month anniversary this upcoming Monday if we last that long. I just don't know what to do about it. I don't know what to say to her or nothing. She's sending me text messages on my cell phone begging for me to talk to her but I can't. I don't know what to say anymore. And I don't want to hurt her anymore than she already is.

I just wish I knew what to do. And I feel so bad for doing this to her. She must be feeling so bad lately and I can't even talk to her about it. I'm really sorry Bea but no matter what happens I'll always love you.
   3 comments

veronica
January 12, 2005   07:26 PM PST
 
ok ive got one thing to tell you. every relationship has its ups and downs. you have to work through the rough spots. look at me n brennan 2 weeks ago. we pretty much broke up and guess what? we talked about it and things are fine and we're closer than before. now that my parents kno everything, my dad could break us up so easy. all he would have to do is put me into stamford. i wouldnt see brennan and he definitely wouldnt let me call him, and hed probly get my mom to delete msn off her comp, which i havent got the ability to download back because of the user account. anyway, all im saying is that you've got a very good thing going here dont let something small ruin everything. ttyl
Name
November 5, 2004   08:29 PM PST
 
u 2 shud jus break up.
sunlatina69
October 19, 2004   11:22 AM PDT
 
and i will aways love you.... but i don't want it to end like this... you gave me a chance once and im asking for you to give me anouther... i know that i've given you afew and if you do this for me then i won't make the same mistake again... i know that your not going to trust it our me but if you give it time and we sit down nd talk than im sure we can get over this we've been through worse

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